


how can i?

by saraheli



Category: Block B
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 16:53:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saraheli/pseuds/saraheli
Summary: After confessing your feelings to Jiho while drunk, he had been tiptoeing around you. You knew something was up, but he wasn’t talking, and, finally, something in you snapped.





	how can i?

The two of you hadn’t spoken the whole time you’d been out. Obviously, there had been small talk and “how are you”s, but things seemed off. They had for the entirety of the previous week: since Saturday at least. You had thought that he had been busy, not necessarily meaning to dodge your calls and texts, but you became increasingly worried at the silent Jiho sitting across the table from you at this cafe.

“Is everything okay?” You asked him, spinning your cup around before pulling it closer to your side of the table.

He shrugged, “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” He laughed, but it, to you, was so clearly forced.

“You just seem like you’re…I don’t know, closing yourself off?”

“Um, I’m obviously not. I just had a party a week ago.” He scoffed as if his point was supposed to erase any suspicions you held. He wished that he hadn’t agreed to meet you today, wondering if more time to think would make what was happening any easier.

The weekend before, it was true that Jiho threw a party. All of his friends and numerous other people were there. There was dancing, laughing, and drinking. Holy shit, was there drinking. You got so messed up yourself that there were parts of the night missing from your memory.

“Okay.” You said, taking this as a hint to drop it.

He swallowed and watch you take out your phone, disheartened, and scroll blankly through your social media. Among those parts that were missing from your memory, you had confessed to Jiho that you had “like, reeeaalllly strong feelings” for him. All he could see when he looked at you was the glassy look of awe in your eyes when you had asked him “not to tell Jiho how much you liked him” and the sad laughter you had emitted when you claimed that he would never like you back. He felt horrified.

Had he really been so oblivious?

Throughout the course of your friendship, Jiho had asked you for advice about numerous relationships and all he could think now was how much it must have hurt you to know what he did with other people.

How long had you loved him? And now, as so many questions floated around in his mind, he wondered how long he had loved you back. Your confession, while making him nauseous, had relieved him of some kind of weight as if your confession validated something deep inside of him.

Now, here you two were. You knew nothing as you innocently scrolled on your phone and drank from your cup, licking whipped cream from your lip. He watched you intently, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Why are we even here?” You asked finally, not looking up at him. He left the tense silence between the two of you empty; he had no idea what to say. What can you say? “This is ridiculous.” You muttered to yourself. You pushed up from the table and slipped out the cafe door onto the sidewalk.

Jiho watched you in surprise. You weren’t usually the type to leave in a huff, so you must be more upset than he thought.

“Hey, wait,” he got up and hurried out after you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you to the sidewalk outside the door. “I’m sorry, something just happened at the party and I haven’t been myself since.” He explained frantically, not wanting you to be upset with him.

“Then why won’t you tell me what it is? If it’s making you avoid me…Did I do something?”

He pushed his hair back from his forehead, “No, well, nothing bad, I mean—”

“What happened?”

“It’s really not—”

“I want an answer, goddamnit!” You shouted at him.

“I’m sorry.” He said, trying to calm you first by setting his hands on your arms, “So, this weekend, you…you told me something I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean for me to know.” He looked into your eyes and took in a breath. “You told me about your…feelings. For me, I mean.”

His heart sank when your expression changed. You pulled out of his grasp.

“And so you avoided me because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.” You nodded, looking down at the ground, “Got it. That makes sense.”

“No, it’s not like that at all.” He said, trying to meet your eyes. “Please look at me.” He said your name softly, moving to grab your chin. You tugged it away.

“Then what is it like?” You asked bitterly.

“It like, how do I tell her that I like her back without seeming like a cliche? How do I be with her without making her wait all the damn time because I never have a free minute? How can I put her through all of that just because she likes me?” He stumbled over his words, trying to get it all out at one time. His brain felt like it was going to short circuit.

You were silent. You looked up at him, your eyes wide in an awestruck stare. He looked at you with sincerity and took your face in his hands. “The last thing I wanted to do was hurt you, but what am I supposed to do?” He begged, searching your face as if it held all the answers he would ever need.

Before you could think to do anything else, you crashed your body into his, holding him in a tight hug on the sidewalk. He was shaking as he wrapped his arms around you too.

“Just give this a try.” You said quietly into his neck.

Jiho breathed out, closing his eyes as he nodded into your hair.


End file.
